the most beautiful guy i've ever been with. Paul was so gorgeous to me but in a different way - tall dark handsome - connor has this amazing body and this build and he's tan and i just want to lick him and his abs. and his eyes are dark slate blue on the edges and gold in the middle.
staycation day 1. friday? what did we do friday? sexy sleepover.
staycation day 2. saturday. walked duncan the dog and sexy times. rough sexy times. he started upstairs and grabbed me and looked at me with that face of his, the one where you know it's on, thinking about it makes the heat creep up my legs. that face. i'm going to fuck you. and he hurried me downstairs to the bedroom, pushed me down on the bed and ripped my clothes off, tossed me on my stomach and pulled my hair HARD and choked me at the same time while he fucked me while i was on my stomach. he said you like that don't you. then when he was done he stayed laying on top of me and kissed me and gentled me like you're supposed to after you dom someone. then weird times with my inability to orgasm with him. snapped at him. insecurity. why can't i get that feeling i've gotten with other people when it comes to that? insecurity/fear?? then walked around takoma park and ate sushi. splashed around with the dog in the creek. went to celebration meeting... more sexy times followed.
staycation day 3. sunday. duncan the dog. sexyness. picked up daniel newcomer and he sort of ish crashed our adventure to harpers ferry but it was fine. then we parted ways and went to midtown.
staycation day 4. monday night. came over after my meeting and his mom time. beckoned him to the outdoors and meditate/pray with me. we sat on a towel in a little treed corner of the tiny park by his house, and we meditated and prayed silently and talked in quiet voices. held hands sitting indian style facing eachother. he said, I'm scared of you. later i said, I'm a little scared of you too. sexy times.
staycation day 5. tuesday. what a lovely day. made him breakfast and we wandered down to the building museum in dc and held hands and had sex in a janitor's closet in the museum. he got a smoothie and we went to the botanical gardens.. then we came home, and got dressed up nice. he wore jeans and this semi rumpled dress shirt and oxfords and a black jacket. and i wore this killer lbd that i bought on vacation at f21. we were too busy fooling around and left late so we had to cancel our fancy dinner reservation at carluccio's in alexandria, and we went straight to tyson's and ate a bunch of sushi. and then... i didn't know where we were going you see. he had bought these tickets a couple weeks ago and told me tuesday september 6 we were going to do a fun thing. he was so cute. was bragging to family and friends about it and someone asked him "what's the occasion?" .. and we were driving from sushi to "somewhere" and i saw the blue and yellow striped tent and i said "omg! cirque du soleil is in town....WHAAAT!" and figured it out in that moment. like he dressed me up and took me to fancy dinner and cirque du soleil. it was his first time at a cirque too. it was ridiculously weird - probably the weirdest one i've seen - but i think he enjoyed it a whole lot and i sure did. i was totally blown away and then we came back to his house and had sexy time and then....
staycation day 6. wednesday. i don't know if it's because it was just yesterday but it feels like it was so special. woke up early to make him breakfast again and got in the car and went to shenandoah state park in virginia. went ziplining and it was in a goofy group with Jesus people. it was fun. then we went exploring around the park. ... we waded across the shenandoah river in bare feet and walked through a big field of tall grass and flowers, then down a long bluestone gravel road. and we climbed up a giant hill and had sex right there on the dirt. you could have seen us from the road. in the sunlight and the air. kicked off our shoes hurriedly, shoes strewn in front of a log, and i let him come inside me. we lay there for awhile afterwards, i took a forest nap in his arms and we lay there and looked up into the trees and i captured the moment right there in my mind. eventually we started the long lazy walk back... forded back over the river. we stopped and sat down in the middle of the river and it was raining and we watched the rain on the water and got rained on and let the river flow around us. what a moment in time. so peaceful. we stopped on the opposite shore and i watched him skip rocks for awhile. we made it over to the campground showers and he came into my shower and had that face again. we got all slippery wet in the hot shower and he fucked me while i was bent over and my head and upper body were right in the shower stream and how sexy was that. and then we stumbled out and went and got food. drove home and listened to speaker tapes and then curled up in bed and watched Adaptation. the snuggles were A1. so good. his skin is so smooth and he is such a good snuggler and it was so amazing. he was rubbing my arms and stroking my hair and kissing me on the forehead and everywhere. connor kisses are the sweetest softest kisses in the world. and then when the movie was done we flipped on el ten eleven and fanshawe/my only swerving made for the most glorious pre sex makeout. just dripping into one another, all the feels and all the love. and then of course every time he fucks me it feels amazing but... it was just so sweet and lovey and sexy and good. he went down on me and he was gentle and it felt really good but i faked the orgasm because i didn't want to go down the road of really trying to come. next time i will. and i yanked him up to me and i sure do say his name a lot. and we passed out all tangled up together. shit he is so sexy. and he has such a better personality than i gave him credit for and better than he gives himself credit for. so fucking sweet. i like you and i want you to know that. i had so much fun with you. sitting on a bench outside cirque at intermission and he looked at me from the side and just said you're so beautiful. so many things. i'm honored that you let me see you naked! (i looked like hot shit on friday.)
my head "i'm gonna be the future mrs. burke" because i'm INSANE and he's so good looking. joyce told me to chill in general and i'm going to try.
but just the way we tangle togther, the way his kisses feel, the way the sex is so good, the way you look at me, the way you touch me, the way the little light shines out of your heart.